Jeff Jargon Says

Going forward, fans of corporatespeak can add value by purposefully impacting this blog's paradigm through emailing examples of poorly-structured, jargon-filled writing encountered to jeffjargon@gmail.com. Circle back and maximize the initiative by facilitating translations to set a new standard of excellence if so inclined...synergy.
Aug 17 '10

championing.. a team…?

As I noted in my email to you all on 23 July, I have championed a team to analyze our Availability Forecasting and Resume compliance metrics, determine root causes of sub-optimal performance, and develop mitigation strategies.

Jul 29 '10

Information Builders - Cheif Operationalizers of Insights

Its focus on operationalizing insights distinguishes Information Builders from its competitors. It worked for performance management, says CEO Gerry Cohen, and it’s poised to give IBI an advantage in statistics and predictive analytics.

Jul 16 '10

Company Email

“…This is going to force you to think upstream in terms of the pre-field conversation.”

Jeff Jargon got caught upstream in a pre-field conversation once.  Washed him halfway to Calgary.  Hair stunk something fierce for days after.  Now when he scratches his chin his left eye closes.  No one should be forced into that.

Tags: upstream submission

Jul 9 '10

Tags: six sigma

Jun 30 '10

An excerpt from my Service-Oriented Computing textbook

Enabling interoperation between workflows, and between web services, continues to be a fundamental challenge. This paper proposes a new approach to interoperation based on hubs that are designed using “business artifacts”, a data-centric paradigm for workflow and business process specification. The artifact-centric interoperation hubs are focused primarily on facilitating communication and business-level synchronization between relatively autonomous stakeholders (and stakeholder organizations).

Ooooh, a data-centric paradigm!  Of course!  Hubs!  Business artifacts!  I can feel my business process specification crowning already!

Tags: interoperation workflow facilitating synchronization paradigm centric artifact submission

Jun 30 '10
These funds provide important external validity…
— Academic Department newsletter.  Here’s a paraphrase.

Tags: validity

Jun 30 '10
What if we postpone ________ and instead, schedule a conference call with you and _________. That may be a better way forward this week.
— Email from colleague.  “A better way forward?”  Are we on the Oregon Trail?  Fording the river much lately?  Broken axle and Cindy’s dead from smallpox?  Let’s ease up on the purposeful, eyes-to-the-horizon talk, Sacagawea.

Tags: manifest detiny

Jun 29 '10

Sustainable Data Exchange

 “We can achieve savings and better performance by leveraging existing administrative and clinical infrastructures, and by using scalable standards that support direct connections as well as data interchange through clearinghouses, and that work in both centralized and federated RHIO models,” he said.

But what did he really say?

Jun 25 '10

worthless agency mission statement

“[Agency’s] mission is to use expertise to provide innovative solutions for our customers in support of their missions and by so doing foster an effective, sustainable, and transparent government for the American people.”

Jun 25 '10
Consultant-speak comes with the territory at a great client-service oriented firm like [company]. We all love to ramp up, leverage, operationalize, and add value. Our work products are mission-critical, granular, actionable, holistic, and scalable….

Excerpt from internal company newsletter, by way of P. 

Had to make the first post strong.  I swear this is real.

Tags: oriented leverage operationalize add value mission-critical granular actionable holistic scalable